By Tracey Cox for MailOnline. Men are often the ones who stop wanting sex in long-term relationships, says sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox. Indeed, UK counselling service Relate reported a 40 per cent increase from the previous decade in the number of men claiming to have gone off sex. Scroll down for video. Contrary to popular opinion that has the wife turning to face the wall 'with a headache', its often the man who decides to stop having sex in long-term relationships. We just don't hear about it because no one talks about it. He doesn't because he's embarrassed society says all men should be up for it all of the time. You don't because you think it makes you look bad you're lousy in bed, married to a closet gay guy, just not sexy any more etc. When renowned US therapist Michele Weiner Davis, with 30 years of couples therapy under her belt, suggested 25 per cent of American men didn't want sex, the response was indignant fury. UK counselling service Relate reported a 40 percent increase in the number of men who have gone off sex.
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I have been dating my boyfriend for nine months and we haven't been intimate yet. I am a pretty sexual person, so I've asked him a few times why he doesn't want to move further in our relationship. In the beginning, he told me that his last relationship ended badly and that he hasn't had sex in four years, so he feels uncomfortable. I understood and didn't bring it up again for a few months.
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While you were dating and during the honeymoon years of your marriage , you lovebirds likely couldn't keep your hands off of each other. Physical attraction and sex are trademark signs of a healthy relationship, according to research published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. But how does sexual intimacy between partners adapt with age? As men age, it's natural for them to experience a somewhat decreased sex drive, says Jeanne O'Connell , M. According to a review published in the Journal of Nurse Practitioners , sexual intimacy declines around age 45 and continues to decline with age. Physiological components can be at play, such as age-related changes in blood flow and shifts in hormones. Other barriers to sexual intimacy may include health conditions, an inability to orgasm, a lack of confidence in the bedroom, and a decline in the desire to engage in sexual activities in general, regardless of your feelings towards your partner. Perhaps you're still trying to keep things exciting in the bedroom, but you can sense your husband's sex drive beginning to tank.
But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist , to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous. Please send your sex and relationship inquiries to tips bustle. Not turned on by me anymore? What do I do? Sex is important to me! Sex drive issues can be complicated, but there are a few steps you can take to try to improve the situation.