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While the request may have thrown you for a loop, the reality is, playing with domination and submission can be a huge turn-on in the bedroom or, you know, wherever you're getting it on. For the partner being tied up, there's often something incredibly hot about handing over complete control. From the achingly sexy to the hella awkward, here are eight women's tales of what it was like to be tied up in bed for the first time. Needless to say, the following stories are NSFW. I've been looking for that level of turn-on ever since. Actually, I was a bit nervous. He was more into it than me, which in turn had me aching with excitement. Best orgasms ever on both sides. Forgot to add [that] we spent a lot of it just laughing at ourselves and being silly which added to the fun! I distinctly remember the first time just feeling really cold, a bit awkward, and quite exposed.
Tied to the bed — hands only
Dear Carole, Why does my girlfriend enjoy being tied up? Sex always involves rope, handcuffs or restraints of some sort, and often uniforms. She is anything but submissive outside the bedroom, but seems unable to achieve orgasm without being restrained in some way. When we have "vanilla" sex she enjoys it, but when tied she always has multiple orgasms. While I'm not complaining at her tastes, I'm not sure I can see the evolutionary benefit … apart from attracting men who are dominant in bed, which, at the risk of doing myself down, seems a dubious sort of goal at best. If it's all the same with you, in the event that you publish this, I'd rather remain anonymous: she reads the Guardian too. Are you dominant in bed? Once an adult is handcuffed and restrained the other party becomes, by default, the dominant one. You say that outside of the bedroom your girlfriend is "anything but submissive".
If you immediately think of Christian Grey's 50 Shades of Grey Red Room when you hear the word "bondage," there's some good news: it doesn't always have to be that intense! But of course, it can be if you want it to. Even if you find the idea of the B in BDSM bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism intriguing, you don't have to dive in headfirst. Instead, sex experts recommend dipping a toe into the bondage pool before you really give it your all. Here, one shares some insight into how to start exploring the world of bondage. Embarking upon a new sexual adventure makes talking about what's going on more important than ever. It might also be a smart idea to come up with a safe word, which is a word or phrase either of you can say when you need a time out from the intensity. Or in pornography, or any other staged bondage depictions you may come across. Instead, take it slowly and don't think you have to experience pain or intense anxiety for it to qualify as bondage.